Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Giddy teenaged-style emotions

I never thought I would say this about this particular situation...

I got the girl!

It was a process that took a while, but it paid off. Back in March you may recall that I posted about being in love. She's my friend's cousin, and I hardly knew her a year ago. But she's wonderful and sweet and (if I may say so) awfully easy on the eyes. It was largely because of those things that I thought it was unlikely that we'd ever feel the same way about each other, and so it took forever for me to get up the guts to say anything. It didn't help that she's really religious and the idea of being in a relationship with another girl is usually quite challenging for a Christian girl...

It was Canada Day (July 1st, for those who don't know) when I finally worked up the courage to hint at how I felt, and then the next day I had her and her cousin over for "lupper" (mid-afternoon meal) and laid it all out. I still don't know where the courage came from, because I was terrified, particularly because I have never been the one to express interest first, especially not to a girl (this is still only a few years old to me). She was very gracious and flattered, but she told me she did not see herself being in a relationship with me. I sort of just thanked her for her honesty and carried on being good friends with her.

It wasn't until nearer to August that the two of us began having these really brutally honest conversations about what we wanted in life and I started to realize that her primary problem with being in a relationship with me wasn't the "me" part, but rather the fact that I'm a girl. So finally, after weeks of her telling me it wasn't an option, she came over for dinner one night in August and we had the conversation that ended in us deciding to give it a try. It was a beautiful night. We curled up on my couch, her head on my chest as she just fell asleep in my arms. I simply didn't want to wake her up to put her in a proper bed, but I did, and then we slept.

Since then, it's been slightly turbulent on account of the fact that we don't know what the hell we're doing! But the common thread through every moment of our interaction is this tremendous affection and respect we have for one another. It's really beautiful, and somehow (perhaps because it began that way and presumably will end that way, if at all) we've managed to be completely honest throughout our relationship, even about things we'd really rather not have to talk about. It's really beautiful.

I'm not sure how it's going to turn out, but I know that for the time being, I'm happy. Really, really happy.

I got the girl!

4 Comments:

Anonymous Jen said...

Omg & awwwww. Those are the first reactions from me as I read this.

I hope that guilt doesn't wallop yo girl in the face at all.
Christianity & homosexuality don't usually mix… but the world is changing,
so hopefully nothing goes south!
I'm so happy for you!
I bet it was excruciating, before she relented/gave in/whatnot. Gut-wrenching, for sure.

September 17, 2011 at 2:04 AM  
Anonymous lucy said...

I'm glad you did though! And I agree with Jen that the world is changing but you know what I'm happy for you. Whatever holds for you down the road, you'll deal with it then, but for now YAY!!!!

I'm very happy for you Jade. You deserve all the happiness in the world!

September 18, 2011 at 1:19 PM  
Anonymous lucy said...

Jade! just out of curiosity, do you plan on opening feels like rain ever again? I've tried to open/host blend challenges but I've always flaked out. Mostly because it's not like before anymore :(

November 6, 2011 at 12:07 AM  
Anonymous Lauren said...

Aww, I love a good love story. I'm very glad things are going well for you with her! Good luck to you both - I can't imagine how relieved you must feel right now!

March 15, 2012 at 5:16 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home